The Poisoned Arrow: Guarding the Gaze in a Hypersexualized Age
🌿 Temptation That Hunts You
We live in a world where we are constantly bombarded by provocative, vulgar, salacious content. It is ubiquitous. Wherever we look we find content that is hypersexualized and crude, and it follows us everywhere we go. It is in our pockets. It follows us into our homes, appears on our screens, and dominates entertainment, music, and advertising. It is difficult to move through the modern world without being exposed to it.
Past generations had to seek temptation. Today the temptation seeks us. It is hard even to get through a commercial without seeing something sexually suggestive, indecent, antithetical to the most basic precepts of modesty and decency. So the question for the believers — muʾminīn and muʾmināt — is this: how do we navigate a world that has become hypersexualized, a world where we are constantly being bombarded?
🪴 Desires Are God-Given — But They Must Be Regulated
Before we answer, we must understand something about human nature. When Allah created the human being, He endowed him with a range of desires. He has beautified certain things in our eyes and created us with certain inclinations and appetites.
زُيِّنَ لِلنَّاسِ حُبُّ الشَّهَوَاتِ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ وَالْبَنِينَ وَالْقَنَاطِيرِ الْمُقَنطَرَةِ مِنَ الذَّهَبِ وَالْفِضَّةِ
Zuyyina lin-nāsi ḥubbu sh-shahawāti mina n-nisāʾi wal-banīna wal-qanāṭīri l-muqanṭarati mina dh-dhahabi wal-fiḍḍah
"Beautified for people is the love of desires — of women and sons, of heaped-up hoards of gold and silver…"
(Qurʾān 3:14, Sūrat Āl ʿImrān)
The desire for the opposite gender, the desire for children, the desire for wealth — these are all part of our nature. Islam is a religion of practicality. Allah does not expect us to eliminate these desires, because He is the One who placed them within us. But He does expect us to regulate them, because they are very powerful, and if misused they can destroy the human being.
His justice, mercy, and wisdom dictate that He would not give us such powerful inclinations without also giving us guidance on how to control and channel them in a way that is healthy and productive. These desires are placed in us with wisdom. Without them we would perish. Allah created hunger so that we would seek nourishment and not die. He placed in us the instinct of self-preservation, so we feel fear before threats and defend ourselves. And He placed in us the desire for the opposite sex, for without it human beings would not procreate and the species would go extinct. There is wisdom behind every desire He created within us.
👁 The Most Ungrateful Organ
Allah also gave us faculties — five senses through which we experience the world. He did not merely create us; He gifted us tools.
قُلْ هُوَ الَّذِي أَنشَأَكُمْ وَجَعَلَ لَكُمُ السَّمْعَ وَالْأَبْصَارَ وَالْأَفْئِدَةَ ۖ قَلِيلًا مَّا تَشْكُرُونَ
Qul huwa lladhī anshaʾakum wa jaʿala lakumu s-samʿa wal-abṣāra wal-afʾidah; qalīlan mā tashkurūn
"Say: He is the One who brought you into being and gave you hearing, sight, and hearts — little do you give thanks."
(Qurʾān 67:23, Sūrat al-Mulk)
Qalīlan mā tashkurūn — most people are ungrateful for these gifts. To be ungrateful for the senses does not only mean failing to say "thank you." Shukr means using these bounties for their intended purpose, in a way pleasing to Allah. Most people misuse the senses in a way that is counterproductive — they take the niʿma of Allah and use it to defy Him.
And among all the organs, one stands out. From Amīr al-Muʾminīn ʿAlī ibn Abī Ṭālib (ṣalawātullāhi ʿalayhi):
لَيْسَ فِي الْبَدَنِ شَيْءٌ أَقَلَّ شُكْرًا مِنَ الْعَيْنِ، فَلَا تُعْطُوهَا سُؤْلَهَا فَتَشْغَلَكُمْ عَنْ ذِكْرِ اللَّهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ
Laysa fi l-badani shayʾun aqallu shukran mina l-ʿayn, fa-lā tuʿṭūhā suʾlahā fa-tashghalakum ʿan dhikri llāhi ʿazza wa jall
"There is nothing in the body less grateful to Allah than the eye, so do not give it everything it asks for, lest it distract you from the remembrance of Allah."
Why is the eye the most ungrateful of organs? Because many — if not most — of the sins we commit begin with the eyes. We let our eyes roam freely, and the sin begins there. The Imam says: do not give your eye everything it wants. Treat your eye like a child. You do not let a child consume whatever it wants, because left loose it will engage in self-destructive behaviour. And if you allow your eyes to roam, it will distract you from the remembrance of God.
This is a lived reality. When we have no discipline over our eyes, we feel disconnected from Allah, unmotivated to worship or supplicate. Roaming eyes have a detrimental effect on our spirituality.
💌 The Eye Is the Messenger of the Heart
The West says the eye is the window to the soul. We have a similar concept in our tradition. Amīr al-Muʾminīn says:
الْعَيْنُ بَرِيدُ الْقَلْبِ
Al-ʿaynu barīdu l-qalb
"The eye is the messenger of the heart."
Whatever you see, whatever you absorb visually, all of it is sent to your spiritual heart. You cannot say, "I'm only looking, it won't affect me" — that betrays a misunderstanding of how the mind works. There is a subconscious mind. Everything you see has an effect; messages are constantly being sent to your soul.
It is said that in the modern world the average person is exposed to four to ten thousand advertisements, logos, and brand messages per day. We consciously notice only seventy-five to a hundred of them — the rest are absorbed by the subconscious mind. Do not imagine it has no effect on you. It does.
This eye Allah created is a powerful machine. The retina has some 126 million photoreceptors. Bring together all the engineers in the world and they cannot match the sophistication of the human eye. The newest iPhone camera is 48 megapixels — a resolution that took a company decades of work. Scientists estimate the human eye, if rendered as a camera, would be up to 576 megapixels. The iPhone has a maker; the human eye, they tell you, has none. We must understand the power of this organ.
🏹 The Poisonous Arrow of Shayṭān
Someone might ask: "What is the harm in just looking? Sheikh, I'm not married — if we can't touch, at least let us look." We should not be naïve. These lustful glances are not innocent or casual, and they do have a negative effect on our spirituality. The Ahl al-Bayt (ʿalayhim al-salām) know the human soul better than we do. From Imam al-Ṣādiq (ʿalayhi al-salām), narrated in Wasāʾil al-Shīʿa by Shaykh al-Ḥurr al-ʿĀmilī:
النَّظْرَةُ سَهْمٌ مِنْ سِهَامِ إِبْلِيسَ مَسْمُومٌ، مَنْ تَرَكَهَا لِلَّهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ لَا لِغَيْرِهِ أَعْقَبَهُ اللَّهُ أَمْنًا وَإِيمَانًا يَجِدُ طَعْمَهُ
An-naẓratu sahmun min sihāmi Iblīsa masmūm; man tarakahā lillāhi ʿazza wa jalla lā li-ghayrihi aʿqabahu llāhu amnan wa īmānan yajidu ṭaʿmah
"The [lustful] glance is a poisoned arrow from the arrows of Iblīs. Whoever abandons it for the sake of Allah — and for none other — Allah grants him a security and a faith whose sweetness he tastes."
This is figurative — Shayṭān is no archer firing at people. But the glance is a poisoned arrow. And whoever lowers his gaze for Allah's sake — not because there is CCTV, not because people are watching, but for Allah alone — Allah grants him a kind of immunity from Shayṭān, a security from him, and lets him taste the sweetness of faith.
Many people pray, fast, recite Ziyārah, recite the Qurʾān, perform every aʿmāl — yet feel nothing. Their worship is dry. This may well be because we do not lower our gaze. If we truly want to taste the sweetness of ʿibādah, one thing we must do is train ourselves to restrain our glance.
What makes Amīr al-Muʾminīn who he is, and Abu al-Faḍl al-ʿAbbās who he is, is not strength — not how much they can bench. There are many nawāṣib, enemies of the Ahl al-Bayt, physically stronger than us. A man of real strength has control over his gaze; he is not impulsive, for an impulsive person is a weak person. Take it as a rule of thumb.
This obligation falls on men and women. Some sisters watch UFC fights and see no problem with it — but many of our fuqahāʾ hold that a Muslim woman may not look at a shirtless, uncovered man, even without lust, because she must have ḥayāʾ. A woman of decency should not be looking at half-naked men. The lowering of the gaze is an obligation upon both.
📱 Ḥayāʾ on the Screen
Lowering the gaze applies in real life and on social media. Some act as if the sharia does not reach online. A brother posts a picture and sisters reply with hearts — this is not appropriate. Unless it is your brother, father, or husband, you should not be posting hearts on the post of someone non-maḥram to you. And the same applies to the brothers: why are you putting hearts on every post? Is she your wife? Your sister? Your grandmother? Who is this? Ask yourself.
We are here at the majlis of Imam al-Ḥusayn, commemorating people like Abu al-Faḍl al-ʿAbbās. Do you think al-ʿAbbās, were he alive today, would post hearts on something posted by a woman not maḥram to him? If you think he would, you have lost your mind. We need to revive this culture of ḥayāʾ. The Ahl al-Bayt have higher expectations of us.
⚖️ How Sin Progresses
The Qurʾān, before it speaks of the hijab, begins with the glances — and begins with the men, because men get away with murder when it comes to glances:
قُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا فُرُوجَهُمْ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَزْكَىٰ لَهُمْ
Qul lil-muʾminīna yaghuḍḍū min abṣārihim wa yaḥfaẓū furūjahum; dhālika azkā lahum
"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their chastity — that is purer for them."
(Qurʾān 24:30, Sūrat al-Nūr)
And He addresses the women too:
وَقُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنَاتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِنَّ
Wa qul lil-muʾmināti yaghḍuḍna min abṣārihinna
"And tell the believing women to lower their gaze…"
(Qurʾān 24:31, Sūrat al-Nūr)
Sin does not happen in a vacuum. It begins with a lustful look. The look becomes a thought; the thought becomes an imagination; the imagination becomes a desire; and the desire becomes the fuel for the sin. It all begins with the first step. Allah knows what He created — He knows that if you slip and take that first step, it becomes very difficult to pull yourself back. The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. So the Qurʾān says: do not take that first step.
Hence the eloquence of Amīr al-Muʾminīn:
مَنْ غَضَّ طَرْفَهُ أَرَاحَ قَلْبَهُ
Man ghaḍḍa ṭarfahu arāḥa qalbah
"Whoever lowers his gaze relieves his heart."
When you look, you create a desire within yourself. The Imam asks: why trouble yourself? Why put yourself in a situation where you will be pulled toward the ḥarām? Do not even look — lower your gaze, and relieve yourself of all the trouble that glance would bring.
🧠 Three Worldly Harms of the Unrestrained Gaze
How do we convince even someone who is not religious — who comes only a few days a year, who is merely curious, perhaps not even Muslim — that lowering the gaze is worth it? Is it just religious people trying to take all the fun out of life? There are real, practical benefits, even in this dunyā before the ākhirah. Three of them:
One — you objectify others, and lose your own humanity. A person who lets his eyes roam freely, looking with lust at anything with two legs, trains his mind to objectify the opposite gender. You begin to see only bodies and not souls, only appearance and not character. You condition yourself until the opposite sex no longer registers as fully human in your eyes. This is how you get the Epstein class — these twisted, animalistic minds. They did not arrive on Epstein Island overnight. It began with unrestrained glances. You take away the humanity of others, and in the process you lose your own. Do you see how desperately the world needs the teachings of the Ahl al-Bayt?
Two — you destroy your appreciation of real beauty. Much of what you see online is not real — filtered, enhanced, AI-generated artificial beauty. It is said the average man today sees the faces of more women in a single day than the kings of the past saw in their entire lifetimes. Imagine what that does to the soul. You begin to see your wife — or your future wife — as less attractive, unconsciously comparing her to an unrealistic standard. It damages your marriage. So many young boys, through exposure to pornography and online filth, no longer know what a normal woman looks like, and become dissatisfied with natural, real beauty.
Three — you feed an insatiable cycle. This is a trick of Shayṭān. When an attractive non-maḥram woman passes, Shayṭān is activated. He whispers: just take a peek, just look this once, and you will feel satisfied and fulfilled. But the research shows the opposite. Constantly gawking does not achieve fulfilment — it creates a vicious cycle. You want more and more until you become a slave of your desires. It is never, "Alḥamdulillāh, I got what I wanted." It feeds the hunger for more.
If these are the harms in the dunyā, imagine the harms in the ākhirah — imagine the burden we will carry into the life after this one.
🌱 Five Strategies to Train the Gaze
"Sheikh, I struggle with this. It has become a habit. Are there practical strategies?" Yes — five of them.
One — change your thinking before your behaviour. As Muslims we understand that our primary identity is not our body. Your body is always changing; the body you have today is, after seven years, entirely different — every cell regenerated — yet you still know it is the same "me." That constant identity marker is the soul. Now think of your soul, your spiritual heart, as a garden. Everything you see and hear is a seed planted in that garden. Lower your gaze, and you plant a seed that becomes a flower. Look with lust at a non-maḥram, and you plant a seed that grows into a weed. The garden grows whatever you feed it — so treat your eyes and ears as the input.
Two — do not merely remove the desire; replace it. A person who struggles to lower the gaze usually has a void in the heart, a feeling of emptiness. It is not enough to eliminate the ḥarām desire — the heart needs a substitute, something to make it whole. And only one thing can make the human soul complete:
أَلَا بِذِكْرِ اللَّهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ الْقُلُوبُ
Alā bi-dhikri llāhi taṭmaʾinnu l-qulūb
"Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest."
(Qurʾān 13:28, Sūrat al-Raʿd)
The stronger your relationship with Allah, the easier it becomes to lower your gaze, because you reach a point where you will not jeopardise that relationship. You feel constantly in His presence. You come to see your heart as al-qalb ḥaram Allah — the sanctuary of Allah — and you will not pollute it. Allah is not contained in the heavens and the earth, as the hadith says, but He is contained in the heart of a muʾmin.
Three — fast. Outside Ramadan, get into the habit of fasting. The Prophet fasted three days of every month, and in Rajab and Shaʿbān. When you fast you send a message to all your limbs: I will not obey my impulses. It strengthens willpower, de-emphasises the body, and strengthens the soul. We have physical discipline — we wake at 5 a.m. for the gym because we see the body transforming and recognise the value. But if you invest so heavily in a body that lasts only a few decades, how much more should you invest in a soul that lasts for eternity? The soul is the real driver; the body is just a temporary vehicle. What is the point of a beautiful car if the driver is falling apart? When you fast and when you pray, you invest in the real you.
Four — choose your environment, in real life and online. Be selective with your friends. The hundreds of "friends" on social media are not real friends; you need only a few — friends who help you develop, who have a positive influence. If you sit with people whose eyes are always roaming, their behaviour rubs off on you. If you sit with someone who smokes, will you not smell of smoke? Some "friends" will drag you to Jahannam. It is better to be alone and obedient to Allah than to keep friends who lead you to hell. Gradually pull away from people who are self-destructive. And online — these platforms have settings. Unfollow accounts posting provocative material; use content preferences; hit "not interested," block, filter. Do not think you are helpless. Take an active role.
Five — remember that all of it is temporary. Every pleasure and desire we chase is fleeting. Even the thing that brings the most joy lasts a few moments and is gone — food, intimacy, whatever it is. This life is fleeting, and we must not lose sight of the greater goal.
🪦 "As If This World Never Was"
Imam al-Ḥusayn's last letter was to his brother Muḥammad ibn al-Ḥanafiyyah — short, but profound:
بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ، وَكَأَنَّ الدُّنْيَا لَمْ تَكُنْ، وَكَأَنَّ الْآخِرَةَ لَمْ تَزَلْ
Bismi llāhi r-raḥmāni r-raḥīm, wa ka-anna d-dunyā lam takun, wa ka-anna l-ākhirata lam tazal
"In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Most Compassionate. It is as if this world never existed, and as if the hereafter has always been."
This earthly life is so brief it is as if it never existed; the ākhirah is as though it is all that ever was. Temptation tells you what to do now — instant gratification. But īmān asks: what will benefit you on this eternal journey? We have to think about what will last and what will perish.
This is what makes Imam al-Ḥusayn and his companions so noble and inspiring: they understood the fleeting nature of this life. They had baṣīrah — insight. Everyone else of their time was engrossed in this pleasure and that desire, lost in the distractions of the dunyā. But al-Ḥusayn's eye was fixed on the ākhirah, on the eternal life.
🌙 The Road to Karbala
On this night we remember al-Ḥusayn's journey to Karbala. When he departed Medina he travelled to Mecca, remaining several months. Pilgrims came from across the empire for ʿUmrah, and the Imam spoke to them, raising awareness — that Yazīd is a tyrant, unfit to represent Islam or its Prophet. In Mecca he began receiving letters from Kufa: "Yabna Rasūlillāh, we have no leader, no Imam — come and lead us."
On the 8th of Dhū al-Ḥijjah, in the 60th year after the Hijra, just as Hajj was about to begin, the Imam decided to leave. People asked, "Where are you going? Tomorrow is the Day of ʿArafah." He explained that Banī Umayya had sent spies and assassins to kill him, and he would not have his blood spilled in Mecca, nor the sanctity of the Bayt Allah violated. He was also sending a message: what is the point of Hajj if you accept a Yazīd as your leader? What remains of Islam but the empty shell, the hollow rituals? Islam is about justice. Islam is about human dignity.
He departed with his family and companions toward Iraq — twenty-three days of travel, stopping at thirty stations. Imam Zayn al-ʿĀbidīn (al-Sajjād) narrates:
خَرَجْنَا مَعَ الْحُسَيْنِ، فَمَا نَزَلَ مَنْزِلًا وَلَا ارْتَحَلَ مِنْهُ إِلَّا وَذَكَرَ يَحْيَىٰ بْنَ زَكَرِيَّا وَقَتْلَهُ
Kharajnā maʿa l-Ḥusayn, fa-mā nazala manzilan wa-lā irtaḥala minhu illā wa dhakara Yaḥyā bna Zakariyyā wa qatlah
"We set out with al-Ḥusayn, and he did not alight at any station nor depart from one without mentioning Yaḥyā ibn Zakariyyā and his killing."
At every station he gathered his family and companions and recounted the martyrdom of Yaḥyā ibn Zakariyyā — as if preparing them, as if prophesying his own fate. And one day his father said:
مِنْ هَوَانِ الدُّنْيَا عَلَى اللَّهِ أَنَّ رَأْسَ يَحْيَىٰ بْنِ زَكَرِيَّا أُهْدِيَ إِلَىٰ بَغِيٍّ مِنْ بَغَايَا بَنِي إِسْرَائِيلَ
Min hawāni d-dunyā ʿala llāhi anna raʾsa Yaḥyā bni Zakariyyā uhdiya ilā baghiyyin min baghāyā Banī Isrāʾīl
"Among the signs of how lowly this world is before Allah: that the head of Yaḥyā ibn Zakariyyā — a prophet of God — was gifted to a prostitute of the prostitutes of Banī Isrāʾīl."
If this dunyā had any value, would such a thing happen? Allah does not give this world to the wronged and the righteous; He gives it to these criminals — because it has no value. It is the lowest plane of existence.
🏜 "This Is Where We Halt"
They journeyed until they reached the outskirts of Kufa. ʿUbaydullāh ibn Ziyād received word that al-Ḥusayn and his caravan were approaching, and dispatched a decorated commander, al-Ḥurr ibn Yazīd al-Riyāḥī, with a battalion of a thousand soldiers to intercept the Imam — who had only about a hundred souls in his caravan.
Al-Ḥurr knew and respected al-Ḥusayn. He arrived and said, "Yabna Rasūlillāh, I did not come to fight you. I am on a military assignment, ordered not to let you enter Kufa." The Imam opened his saddlebag and showed the letters: "I came because they invited me, because they needed an Imam." Al-Ḥurr said he could not let him enter. "Then let me return to Medina." — "No, ibn Ziyād ordered I let you neither enter Kufa nor return." — "Then let me go elsewhere — Yemen, Rome, anywhere." — "I cannot let you leave. These are the orders." Al-Ḥusayn was trapped. They demanded his allegiance, allowed him no escape, and cornered him.
Al-Ḥurr said he must accompany the Imam wherever he went. So the Imam asked at least for a patch of land to pitch the tents — ground with natural cover from behind, in case other armies arrived. Al-Ḥurr permitted him to make camp. The Imam asked his companions to guide him to such a place. One companion, al-Ṭirimmāḥ, said, "Yabna Rasūlillāh, I know this area, I can take us there." The Imam told him to take the reins of the camel — but gently, carefully: "This is the camel that Zaynab is riding. This is the daughter of Amīr al-Muʾminīn. Be gentle."
Al-Ṭirimmāḥ took the reins and began driving the caravan toward that land, reciting poetry in praise of al-Ḥusayn, expressing the honour of being associated with him.
As they moved, the horse of al-Ḥusayn suddenly came to an abrupt stop. Thinking it tired, the Imam changed his horse — but the new one would not move either. The Imam read the signal. He turned to his companions: "What is the name of this land?" — "Al-Ghāḍiriyya." — "No, it has another name." — "Yabna Rasūlillāh, this is Naynawā." — "No, another name." — "It is the bank of the Euphrates, Shaṭṭ al-Furāt." — "No, another name." A passing Bedouin was asked, "What is the name of this land?" He answered:
إِنَّهَا أَرْضُ كَرْبٍ وَبَلَاءٍ
Innahā arḍu karbin wa balāʾ
"It is the land of anguish and affliction — Karbalāʾ."
When al-Ḥusayn heard Karbalāʾ, he turned his face to Allah:
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الْكَرْبِ وَالْبَلَاءِ
Allāhumma innī aʿūdhu bika mina l-karbi wa l-balāʾ
"O Allah, I seek refuge in You from anguish and affliction."
Then he turned to his companions: "O my beloveds, O my family, O my companions — we have arrived at our destination." And he said:
هَا هُنَا مَحَطُّ رِحَالِنَا، هَا هُنَا تُقْتَلُ رِجَالُنَا، هَا هُنَا تُذْبَحُ أَطْفَالُنَا، هَا هُنَا تُحْرَقُ خِيَامُنَا
Hā hunā maḥaṭṭu riḥālinā, hā hunā tuqtalu rijālunā, hā hunā tudhbaḥu aṭfālunā, hā hunā tuḥraqu khiyāmunā
"Here is where our journey halts. Here our men will be killed. Here our children will be slaughtered. Here our tents will be set ablaze."
This is the land where the men would be killed, where the children would be slaughtered, where the tents would be set ablaze, and from which the women and children would be taken as captives.
The whole arc of the night holds together: an eye fixed on the fleeting screen, and an eye fixed on eternity. The same gaze al-Ḥusayn turned away from this lowly world — the world that gifted a prophet's head to a prostitute — is the gaze we are asked to guard from the poisoned arrows that now hunt us in our own pockets. Lower the gaze for Allah alone, plant flowers and not weeds in the garden of the heart, and remember: it is as if this world never was, and as if the hereafter has always been.